PIXEL-Of-DOOM

So it's the end of the year and all my plans for saving up for a nice christmas has come and gone. You know it's one of those things you always mean to do but forget to then when it comes up your brain tricks you into thinking ..hey maybe i did set up money to be deposited into a separate account but NOOOOOO! You didn't? Anyone...? Anyone?? lol Yeah so its not a common problem i guess, anyway, i am out of WOW time out of XBOX time and Out of DA Subscription time lol. All my money is wrapped up in gifts and bills and in this time of recession with everyone i know has fear of losing there job, i just wish there was some sort of gift i could give to all of them to ease the friction of life. I truly feel if i were to win the lottery I'd do soo much good with it that i'd spend it all the first year. Maybe that's why i will never win...cause i won't manage it well lol.

Anyway things I am looking for for christmas:

Wrath of the Litch King
WOW prepaid card
FABLE 2
New Clothes
Painting Supplies
Xbox 360 12 month subscription
Deviant art Year Subscription!

so there it is, we'll see what i end up having to buy myself after the years out!

Hope you are all having a good weekend and gearing up for a badass holiday season. Don't forget about Layaway...heard about this site called Elayaway.com where you can buy pretty much anything and put it on a list and make payements..they mail it after you make the final payment...pretty cool eh?

peace

So I decided to log on this evening to check up with my peeps as i do most nights when a disturbing deviation caught my eye.

leah0890.deviantart.com/art/wi…

obviously has some issues to sort out if indeed the subject in the image is the deviant aforementioned.

Cutting as they call it is a serious problem amongst teens and even some adults...seems to be a bit more on the female side of things though. Why do they do it? Many reasons, the most popular of which that I've heard from the horses mouth being that they don't think they feel anything except for pain. Doing the self mutilation and feeling the metal razor drag across their skin into the muscle tissue severing nerve endings and splitting open the epidermis creates a "sensation" they crave a sense of purpose as if they were meant to suffer. In their minds it is a release, a heightened awareness, a sense of pure emotion they think they can receive from no other source. They are WRONG. It is in their head, and I'm not going to sit here and say it's all their fault for doing something so seemingly self destructive and stupid. It's our fault. Yes, you, me, their parent(s), their teachers, their schools, their government, our society in it's lax view on what is write and what is wrong, the planet, the o-zone..anything and everything but their own...at least that's what they want to believe. I've had quite a few friends who relished in this sort of behavior and i can't say i blame them for thinking it's okay...did you know there are actually support groups for this and other kinds of destructive behaviors like it was some sort of enlightenment that only they understand? It's retarded to think that this is okay on any level under any circumstances. It's a cry for help, it's a cry for stability, it's a visual representation of the self loathing a person feels when they think the world has given up on them. It's sad and pathetic i think. Not because of the hurt or the pain they are going through or maybe the rejection or fear they have built up under a magnifying glass of teen angst. Sure, some cases are going to have some sort of sexual abuse or possibly loss of a family member and some how they think it's their fault or something seriously crazy like that, but the point is it shouldn't be happening. What kind of world does a person see through their eyes where it's okay to hurt yourself regardless of your lot in life? Where is the mental stability for that poor kid who thinks that it's okay to cut themselves. It's suicide...slow and even more painful and even if it's not immediate or even at all, death comes in many forms. If you are dead on the inside you are already amongst the grave. Only difference is you have the option and the opportunity to find a way back into a place of light and peace and hope.

Some recover, some realize there is something worth living for. Maybe it was a stranger shooting a smile across a bus at them or maybe a door was held open or some form of good natured act performed that day that made them feel like there is some glimmer of goodness in their life somewhere they can hold on to. I don't know..i rant a little to much...but the fact that pieces like this are put up everyday and this person either will get negative attention driving them even further into the hole they crawled into which in my opinion they really wanted to hear it anyway so it would confirm their own self loathing. It would justify their actions. I say shit like this get's reported to someone who can help or at the very least to a parent or loved one but how can that happen? Shit like this upsets and angers me because it's not art, it's a cry for help, it's a double edged sword that they are pointing at themselves and announcing to the world that "hey i'm here, someone love me or everyone hate me" Assuming that 90% of us looking at this in what i would think of as a mentally healthy community we are probably more inclined to push for the latter.

I'm not saying flame her, i'm not saying to think it's okay, i'm just saying, think about how your decisions every day effect others around you including a stranger. Soo much bullying and bullshit just for bullshit's sake is done these days, wouldn't it be nice if we could know for a fact that this kind of behavior could be prevented by simply acting in a better light toward your fellow man? FUCK i'm tired.....

-out