Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login

Life, Unstoppable.

Sat Aug 6, 2011, 3:20 PM
what's that? i have a "header" in my journal again? YEAH! thanks to :iconM1Atanker: He donated a year subscription to the POD! THANKS MAN! YOU ROCK! Go check his stuff out, i have a feeling i'll be doing some probono color work for this guy soon ;)

I'm officially divorced, my child is growing, the heroes are living once again, but my life is wasting. I've realized the problem with my art in the past was that it lacked emotion. Even the coloring I had been doing. This is largely due to a lack of well rounded emotional development that recent events have caused me to take stock of, rearrange, add to and weed out. The emotional herd has been thinned...the pain has been infused...the focus has been reset. My path is having the fog lifted from it to reveal a journey I am no longer afraid to take. This world is about the change and time is running out.

Enjoy your holiday and be blessed.
  • Listening to: Illuminated by HURT
  • Reading: The Gift
  • Watching: Nip/Tuck
  • Playing: Mortal Kombat
  • Eating: Protein
  • Drinking: Bud Light

Castration of the ears

Wed Dec 31, 2008, 9:46 PM
  • Watching: new years crap on tv
  • Playing: GEARS OF WAR 2
  • Drinking: jim beam and coke
what's that? i have a "header" in my journal again? YEAH! thanks to :iconM1Atanker: He donated a year subscription to the POD! THANKS MAN! YOU ROCK! Go check his stuff out, i have a feeling i'll be doing some probono color work for this guy soon ;)

and that's what i think of the jonas brothers....those no talent turd burgler yaoi or however you spell it looking muther fuckers i can't stand them and there musical diarreah! there....i said it...


Enjoy your holiday and be blessed.

Family T1M3

Sun Dec 21, 2008, 9:40 AM
  • Watching: DARK KNIGHT
  • Playing: GEARS OF WAR 2
  • Drinking: Hot Chocolate
what's that? i have a "header" in my journal again? YEAH! thanks to :iconM1Atanker: He donated a year subscription to the POD! THANKS MAN! YOU ROCK! Go check his stuff out, i have a feeling i'll be doing some probono color work for this guy soon ;)

SO.....the holidays are coming up and just wanted to get a head start on wishing everyone a great holiday season even if you don't celebrate anything you at least get a day off from work so hey it's a time to be happy for most!

In any event, I've been spending a lot of time with my in-laws lately (not that i spend more than a month without seeing them anyway) but i truly enjoy spending time with them. Even more than my own family at times. I do feel i neglect my own family but there are reasons for that other than my wife's tighter knit with her family than I with mine. Christmas will be spent at my apartment with my wife and child as I have to work the day before christmas and my wife has to work the day after Christmas. Kind of lame but that's what happens when you have a job during a do what you gotta do to hang on to it! Soo many people out there that have been laid off just before the holidays and I feel horrible about it. Regardless of the reasons for being laid off it's never a good thing..especially right before the holidays when some extra cash is a necessity for presents and whatnot. The holidays are a time of selfless giving and self reflection. I still haven't bought all of my presents needed yet as things are tight for me as well but i do have the capability to buy gifts and still pay rent which i am very thankful for. So with that being said. it's time for the giving.

I've been working on some projects that have taken longer than expected and i believe i owe quite a few people some colorings ;)

I will also be offering colorings at $10 a piece. THAT'S MORE THAN HALF OFF what i normally charge.

so start signing up if you'd like one. And hey if you've had a rough time this christmas, perhaps you've been laid off of or maybe your loved ones have been....note me your story and i'll see what i can do to whip up a little christmas magic for you for FREE.99!

Enjoy your holiday and be blessed.
  • Listening to: Dan Le Sac
  • Reading: The DC Comics Encyclopedia
  • Watching: Tropic Thunder
  • Playing: GEARS OF WAR 2
  • Eating: Shrimp Alfredo
  • Drinking: Cranberry Juice
So it's the end of the year and all my plans for saving up for a nice christmas has come and gone. You know it's one of those things you always mean to do but forget to then when it comes up your brain tricks you into thinking ..hey maybe i did set up money to be deposited into a separate account but NOOOOOO! You didn't? Anyone...? Anyone?? lol Yeah so its not a common problem i guess, anyway, i am out of WOW time out of XBOX time and Out of DA Subscription time lol. All my money is wrapped up in gifts and bills and in this time of recession with everyone i know has fear of losing there job, i just wish there was some sort of gift i could give to all of them to ease the friction of life. I truly feel if i were to win the lottery I'd do soo much good with it that i'd spend it all the first year. Maybe that's why i will never win...cause i won't manage it well lol.

Anyway things I am looking for for christmas:

Wrath of the Litch King
WOW prepaid card
New Clothes
Painting Supplies
Xbox 360 12 month subscription
Deviant art Year Subscription!

so there it is, we'll see what i end up having to buy myself after the years out!

Hope you are all having a good weekend and gearing up for a badass holiday season. Don't forget about Layaway...heard about this site called where you can buy pretty much anything and put it on a list and make payements..they mail it after you make the final payment...pretty cool eh?

  • Listening to: Dan Le Sac
  • Reading: The DC Comics Encyclopedia
  • Watching: Tropic Thunder
  • Playing: GEARS OF WAR 2
  • Eating: Shrimp Alfredo
  • Drinking: Cranberry Juice
So I decided to log on this evening to check up with my peeps as i do most nights when a disturbing deviation caught my eye.…

:iconleah0890: obviously has some issues to sort out if indeed the subject in the image is the deviant aforementioned.

Cutting as they call it is a serious problem amongst teens and even some adults...seems to be a bit more on the female side of things though. Why do they do it? Many reasons, the most popular of which that I've heard from the horses mouth being that they don't think they feel anything except for pain. Doing the self mutilation and feeling the metal razor drag across their skin into the muscle tissue severing nerve endings and splitting open the epidermis creates a "sensation" they crave a sense of purpose as if they were meant to suffer. In their minds it is a release, a heightened awareness, a sense of pure emotion they think they can receive from no other source. They are WRONG. It is in their head, and I'm not going to sit here and say it's all their fault for doing something so seemingly self destructive and stupid. It's our fault. Yes, you, me, their parent(s), their teachers, their schools, their government, our society in it's lax view on what is write and what is wrong, the planet, the o-zone..anything and everything but their least that's what they want to believe. I've had quite a few friends who relished in this sort of behavior and i can't say i blame them for thinking it's okay...did you know there are actually support groups for this and other kinds of destructive behaviors like it was some sort of enlightenment that only they understand? It's retarded to think that this is okay on any level under any circumstances. It's a cry for help, it's a cry for stability, it's a visual representation of the self loathing a person feels when they think the world has given up on them. It's sad and pathetic i think. Not because of the hurt or the pain they are going through or maybe the rejection or fear they have built up under a magnifying glass of teen angst. Sure, some cases are going to have some sort of sexual abuse or possibly loss of a family member and some how they think it's their fault or something seriously crazy like that, but the point is it shouldn't be happening. What kind of world does a person see through their eyes where it's okay to hurt yourself regardless of your lot in life? Where is the mental stability for that poor kid who thinks that it's okay to cut themselves. It's suicide...slow and even more painful and even if it's not immediate or even at all, death comes in many forms. If you are dead on the inside you are already amongst the grave. Only difference is you have the option and the opportunity to find a way back into a place of light and peace and hope.

Some recover, some realize there is something worth living for. Maybe it was a stranger shooting a smile across a bus at them or maybe a door was held open or some form of good natured act performed that day that made them feel like there is some glimmer of goodness in their life somewhere they can hold on to. I don't know..i rant a little to much...but the fact that pieces like this are put up everyday and this person either will get negative attention driving them even further into the hole they crawled into which in my opinion they really wanted to hear it anyway so it would confirm their own self loathing. It would justify their actions. I say shit like this get's reported to someone who can help or at the very least to a parent or loved one but how can that happen? Shit like this upsets and angers me because it's not art, it's a cry for help, it's a double edged sword that they are pointing at themselves and announcing to the world that "hey i'm here, someone love me or everyone hate me" Assuming that 90% of us looking at this in what i would think of as a mentally healthy community we are probably more inclined to push for the latter.

I'm not saying flame her, i'm not saying to think it's okay, i'm just saying, think about how your decisions every day effect others around you including a stranger. Soo much bullying and bullshit just for bullshit's sake is done these days, wouldn't it be nice if we could know for a fact that this kind of behavior could be prevented by simply acting in a better light toward your fellow man? FUCK i'm tired.....

  • Listening to: silence
  • Reading: blogs
  • Watching: nothing
  • Playing: Call of Duty 4 on xbox 360
  • Eating: nothing
  • Drinking: water
Hey guys so my friend :iconaerocat13: did a little art survey test thing and passed it on to others via her journal, I thought it was interesting enough to try for myself..and here's what i got!…

you can find the test here.…

I've been doing a lot of thinking about life lately and my role in the world. I don't feel i'm that special and with good reason and it does not bother me. What bothers me is that i don't do anything good for my fellow man. I need a cause, but it's not enough for me to back an already existing organization ...there's just too many to choose from a worthy list of equally humanitarian and Ethically clean programs. The problem is..i want a cause for myself, not to make a name for myself but something for me to express myself with through the betterment of my fellow man. I want something truly unique and equally groundbreaking. I'm going to be pondering this over the next few weeks and try to get something going by beginning next year.

Just some thoughts.

gonna try to get some deviations up soon. Trying to work out some traditional art skills i just don't think will scan well so..we'll see if i put those up soon.

Hey guys, i know i don't really update too much anymore and i haven't submitted a deviation in a while but its because my work has been leaning it self to a matter of convenience. I seem to be doing my best work while i'm working and waiting between ads to pdf lol. Working on a new project with a coworker that might just be something that takes off when it's finely tuned and polished in the upcoming months. We'll see how it goes but i'm really excited to work on the project. I really need to start working on my sequential story telling so if it's cool with my friend :iconaerocat13: i'm gonna see about uploading some stuff to VOID. Cut my teeth and see how people react to the character from a strictly action story perspective. If you can get action you can do anything i feel. So stay tuned.

In other news, swing by my buddy :iconcracked-ice-concepts: he's having a contest and the prize is quite nice i know i'll be entering.

  • Reading: Michael Turner's Passing
  • Watching: My Hero Leave Us
Today I awoke to the sounds of my daughter crying for me to come get her. She's a little scared of a completely quite and half dark house in the morning. I've done this routine plenty of times on the weekend with my wife and I on a "you go Saturday, I go Sunday" method. I got up, turned on the cartoons turned on the computer so i could surf the web while she watches tv. Made breakfast and sat down for my normal deviantart one on one time. I went through the journals and one caught my eye. "RIP Michael Turner". I couldn't believe it. I checked it out and the link it enclosed. Shock and disbelief ensued as i read article after article of the passing of a legend.  I had the honor of meeting Michael Turner at Samurai comics here in Phoenix one time. I was soo star struck my buddy Dave had to nudge me through the line as I said "hi" and he smiled and signed my superman batman run. He seemed like a great guy and genuinely nice to everyone, even the 2 long box totting comic book store owner who was first in line. (lameass took an hour to get all her crap signed.). He was my hero. He got me excited about comics when most of the art on the stands was beginning to look stale and seem uninspired. His art touched me like a priest touches an alter boy. Gently and deeply in a "religious" way that makes me not talk about it until i become a was an awesome person with awesome talent and an awesome journey. My friend :icondrawntoperfection: brought me home the wizard showcase book they did on him and got it signed no less. It talks about his life, his hobbies and his pain. It's a great read and i recommend you all take a peak if you can. I'm deeply saddened by his passing but his mark has been etched upon the pages of comic book history. His dedication to the art and palyful attitude with which he touched pencil to paper will live on in us all as a testiment to his greatness. He will be missed. Rest in Peace good sir and know you have made a difference in your fan's lives.
  • Listening to: Itunes Radio
  • Playing: GEARS OF WAR
  • Drinking: Water
Greetings, so I was able to pull off the DVD authoring I mentioned in my last journal thanks to some help from a link :icongh-mongo: gave me. I was able to download a prefab dvd maker and put together the project for my friend with NO learning curve and about 30 minutes of research. The longest part of the whole thing was the actual burning of the disc so thanks for all the tips and tutorials everyone sent my way I appreciate it.

In other news i'm gonna try to go to the San Diego CON even though my buddy  :icondrawntoperfection: and I didn't win the contest we entered for "Recreate BOOK MAN" a contest put on by a local used book store chain here in AZ.

Oh well probably went to someone younger and more deserving...

SO yah went and watched Indiana Jones last night with my buddy Dave and I loved it! I know there's a lot of nay sayers out there about how the flick was hokey or how it was about (SPOILER ALERT STOP READING) ........Aliens I thought it was well done and only a few minor things could of been changed. You gotta keep in mind that they've gone pretty much everywhere else, and the most interesting thing about the meso-american culture is a possible link to space creatures! KICKS ASS! So yeah go see it if you haven't already it's totally worth full price.
  • Listening to: Itunes Radio
  • Reading: Adobe Director Tutorials
  • Watching: Adobe Director Tutorials
  • Playing: Adobe Director Tutorials
  • Eating: Adobe Director Tutorials
  • Drinking: Fanta-Strawberry mmmmmm
Alright guys I need some help. I've taken on a project which involves me taking images and fading one in as the other fades out with a 3 second lapse in between. Only thing is I know how to do this in either Adobe DIRECTOR (formerly owned by Macromedia), and possibly flash. My issue is that they need this in DVD format. Does anyone know or have experience in dvd menus or possibly know of a free program I could use to achieve the same effect i need. I basically need to make a plain menu with a play function and then have that link to the 100 image fade screen time lapse director file to play automatically? I'm a bit rusty on my code but i could probably figure that out with a little digging. I am just unsure as to how to make this work for a DVD. Any help would be appreciated.

Thanks in advance.

Links to tutorial sites etc. would be helpful also.

  • Listening to: Whatever I can find on Youtube
  • Reading: I don't read therefore I'm Dumb
  • Watching: My life
  • Playing: Chess
  • Eating: Bowl of anger
  • Drinking: Ice Tea
Sometimes we feel, sometimes we hate, sometimes we love, sometimes we mate, sometimes we hunger, sometimes we faint, sometimes we falter, and that's when  we paint.

It's amazing how much inspiration is drawn from life during good or bad times, sometimes we want to be creative for ecstatic release in elation to the joyous rumblings in our soul brought on by wave after wave of good fortune. Other times it is not so ecstatic and is much more than dark energy welling inside us to form something so innately corrupted it oozes from our subconscious free flowing as the wind with no direction or purpose to serve other than that which wrought it from it's womb.

Life, if we can call it that comes in many forms. Some are delighted at the thought of waking every single day to the routine that has become them. Others find life a cruel tragedy played out in slow motion only to have an anticlimactic ending that never seems to arrive. Others still find Life to be just that. A twisted format of energy, emotion and spontanious events leading to a battle your body will surely loose but hopefully some piece of you will ascend to some unknown for acceptance in accordance with a fate parallel to the course of mortality the individual lead.

In the rage that is my muse for the night i chose to express myself in word via some silly journal entry only a handful in the world may read. I don't mean to drag anyone else into my whirlpool of self hate but I mean to distribute some of this increasing creativity evenly over the bread of life.

I believe in many things...just none at the moment. I want many things, but nothing at the moment. I wish for many things to come..some of which i may have at the moment but am blind to in anger. I feel a hunger for something more than the life i've led but feel i can't attain much more, like a butterfly who's cacoon hardened too much just before releasing the flair of wings that it's  life was destined for. Not that i cannot push through the hold but rather, a stiffening of the soul causing a lack of will to escape the routine it had just become accustomed to.

Emotion is many things, sometimes helpful, sometimes hindering, but always...there.
Constant as the cycle of the moon, sometimes beautiful and bringing light to places once dark, and at other times, sharp and condensed and sometimes not visible at all unless one looks in the right direction.

It's amazing the power emotions have over your mind. You can forget to eat because of anger or rage as you dwell on something that eats at you forget to do that very same thing. Even if you remember, the food doesn't taste as good. You can also tolerate things you wouldn't normally, like say temperature, or pain, or drowsyness, as if for some reason you feel, hey, I deserve to feel this uncomfortable because i put myself in this mood to begin with because i let things get to me to the point of self destructive emplosion. ...sorry ranting now.

So as i spread these words laid out on my heart as the canvas for the souls creative dart throwing just want to let you know i'm fine, just a little miffed, nothing that bad just having some issues right now and i feel they will work their own ways out in some way or another for good or bad. Destiny is calling and it wants that buck fity i borrowed back!

  • Listening to: Korn
  • Watching: Equilibrium
  • Eating: Oatmeal
  • Drinking: Water
It's been a while since i posted anything new and it's because i've been soo busy it's hard to get anything of my own done. Getting lots of overtime at work and when i'm not kicking ads, i'm doing freelance work for a friend's website i got wrangled into and the longer i work on it the more i feel i should of charged more for it. I'm his on call 24hour designWHORE. It's nice to get paid and i love doing stuff for friends at a discount don't get me wrong but when it's a medium that they don't fully understand themselves and ask for the impossible and expect it since they paid you it crosses that line of friendship/boss.

In other news, i've been rediscovering Korn, downloaded the entire discography the other day and just been getting drawn more and more into the meloncholy instrumentals and deep dark lyrics that i guess i never really paid attention to before when i first started listening to them in High school. The last 3 cd's they've come out with are great and i am really enjoying playing that on a loop at work ...get's me through the day. It's wierd how such a carefree and happy sort of guy i am can get into something soo emotionally torn and find a rotting connection. Maybe it's suppression of things i've let slide over the years, maybe it's the creative stimulant i secretly enjoy, maybe it's a reminding of my youth tying my high school days so full of promise and ambition to the man i became and maybe not so much what i had planned but on the other hand..not so bad at all?

Or could it be, the torment that lies dormant in all of us that this music can bring to the surface and make us truly feel...alive?

I don't know, all i know is..i like it. And when i get more free time this is just the creative ac adapter i need to run free and splatter my creative hairball over the canvas of life.

I suggest if you haven't been paying attention to them during their last 3 cd releases, to pick up or download them all like i did. In particular "See you on the other side" listen to "tearjerker" it's just the right mix of violent whispers meloncholy instruments and subtle rock just enough to get your rocks off.

  • Listening to: Chemical Bros.
  • Reading:
  • Watching: History Channel
  • Playing: Call of Duty 4
  • Eating: PB&H sandwhich
  • Drinking: Milk
Hey guys sorry been spotty with my on again off again tactic here with the deviations being few and far between and journals creeping in about every 2 deviations or so.

Just a little shout out for my friend :iconaerocat13: go say hi, fave some stuff and comment on her work, she's very talented and a great creative. She does a lot of traditional painting and she's really good so if you likee you watchee ;)  So yeah go check it out! DO IT...DO IT NOW!

In other news, i'm finally uploading those deviations i had done as commissions, hope you like em.


  • Listening to: Angles by dan le sac Vs. Scroobius Pip
  • Reading:
  • Watching: My super sweet Video Card's POWER
  • Playing: Army of Two
  • Eating: Raisin Bran
  • Drinking: Water
Mornin folks! Haven't really updated anything or commented in a few weeks but that's cause a lot has happened. Got deathly ill to the point that i actually went to a doctor and got some antibiotics that kicked my immune system in the ass like a drill sergeant. Computer took a dump last week so i was barely able to surf the web with a broken video card. Got that fixed this weekend. The real meat of why i haven't been on lately is because i've been doing commissions for :iconpatreek: I have done 9 total which most I'll be uploading in a few minutes. Check em out tell me what you think and swing by his page to give him props. They are all characters based on his concept and a few he even drew but most were drawn but an unknown and i'd love to give him credit but he is not on Deviantart i don't think. If anyone recognizes the work let me know. Patreek has given me permission to post what i've done if i put a watermark of sorts on it but it appears you can no longer drag and drop artwork off the site which rocks! NO MORE RIPPING!

Enjoy the art, i'll keep in better touch i promise.

  • Listening to: The Wiggles sing their gay songs
  • Watching: The Wiggles with my 3 year old
  • Playing: Call of Duty 4
  • Eating: Waffels
  • Drinking: Milk
So as you can see by the 3 latest deviation submissions and obviously this journal...i'm back!

I stuck it to COX and went with Qwest because of gawd-awful customer service not to mention being lied to on a monthly basis. So far so xbox missed playing with others and my computers ethernet card was getting a little too dusty if you know what i'm saying. I had to do something. Wouldn't you know it though...the day i order internet it begins to rain and it' pretty much hasn't stopped since i ordered lol. It's cause the angels cry when TPOD gets access to porn.

The family is doing well, my wife now works at an insurance agency and loves it. I'm still in graphic design with a company who deals with direct mail..some call it junk mail, i call it...enough money to be okay with having people throw my work away most the time. The job rocks and they love me and i am respected and that's what matters most to me.
AND my little girl is doing great and growing like a weed and is primed for ninja force adept training and is going to ninja preschool.

We just had a christmas party for my wife's work and it was a blast.
Christmas is looking to be one of the best yet and i'm hoping santa brings me Call of Duty 4 and Mass Effect, BOTH great games and i fear my addiction for games hasn't been this strong since the movie rental place in my small hometown in Texas gave my brother their entire inventory of Nintendo games when i was 8! Did I mention i just got Gamefly from my wife as a present.. by the way they have excellent customer service even if it's primarily dealt with via email. THEY ROCK!

In other news, i'm gearing up for the Cactus Con here in Phoenix area. Going to go for a space ghost sketch so i'm starting to practice..if i get a half way decent one to scan i'll be uploadin that bitch for you guys.

Since i had nearly 400+ deviations and nearly the same amount in comments i didn't have the time nor the energy to sift through them all and ended up deleting most of it that didn't have more than a 2 word sentence. Sorry guys i did try to read as much as i could and look through deviations though i didn't have much time to comment. Hope you understand.

SO yeah i'm basically locked loaded and super pumped for creative activity and that is including going through WOW withdrawls and sleeping with my xbox controller....i have enough energy and creativity i feel to balance my art with my games and my family time when i'm not working. Look for more deviations to come soon.

Well just wanted to share my good news and also give you guys an update on life and shit...peace out!

Visitor Map
Create your own visitor map!


Tue Aug 7, 2007, 8:41 AM

(sorry i've been gone so long i didn't have internet for a while)

SO yah life is getting awesome....super awesome even! I have a new job that kicks ass. Same shit bigger paycheck & no one looking over me and throwing me in meetings every 2 days cause of some screw up in communication. I'm getting my xbox 360 back this had the ring of death and so i had to get it fixed. I'll probably be able to get back on to World of Warcraft in moderation of course. I'm getting the creative juices flowing causing me to deviate again :) I have 2 in the works and one will be up just after i finish this journal. I'm thinking of just doing flats for a while so i can play catch up and then whenever i have free time the hard shit is done and i can just work on it the way i want. Trying a few things to see if i can't get my speed up and yeah i'm a little rusty but it's all good cause I have the desire and passion for it again. It's amazing how much your job can affect your mood especially towards the things you love. Think about it though it's 8 hours of your day 5 days a week (usually) that's nearly a third of the total hours in a week. A second third is spend sleeping (for most of us) and the other third is the few hours you get after work and the weekend which is usually spent doing chores or what have you. SO when all that time is spent in an environment that trains you to feel hate and conditions you to be decietful and pretend around certain people..of course it affects the rest of your life. I'm just glad i got out while the gettin was good. Word on the street is the place i was working will be outsourcing in 3 years. They are in the works of changing the ad distribution system over to online which means they can control everything from a supervisory terminal, meaning from ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD. Get what i'm saying? So yeah i'm glad i'm gone. Of course they won't tell anyone but when you over hear managers spouting about it you can't help but wonder....was i being scrutinized like so many others there in order to be pushed out the door so they don't have to pay severence packages? hmmm? yeah..conspiracy.
But enough about that shithole.

The sun is shinning...i have my widescreen copy of 300, Transformers was the awesomest movie my eyes have ever seen, i have a full stomache, a fist full of cash, my health, my creative backbone, and 2 eggo waffles in the fridge...LIFE IS GOOD!

Stay tuned kids cause daddy pixel's got a whirlwind of entertainment headed your way by next week.

Thanks for all of you who have stayed faithful, and kept me on your watch and even commented on anything while i was gone. I had several hundred messages and deviations to weed through and i gotta say that fueled my creativity even more...especially this guys :icondrawntoperfection: cause his latest shit he's been pumping out...i'm like...jaw dropping, drool spitting, boner ripping stuff. Go check him out if you haven't already, he kicks ass!

Until next time pixelators!


a few people i'd like to recognize for outstanding comments and support as well as having true artistic potential
:iconcracked-ice-concepts: :iconoathkeeper6: :iconkrylon69: :iconpsychodan: :iconfooray: :iconazeto: :iconthetrieckel: :iconthenass: :icondrawntoperfection: :iconsleepinglionheart711: :iconfaylenia: :iconnoxiuztrail: :iconwaydre: :icondw-deathwish:and my brother :icondovyenda:

show them some love and tell em i sent ya.

T to tha P to tha O to the D

Are you still interested...?

Fri Jun 15, 2007, 11:55 AM
  • Listening to: itunes radio
  • Playing: World of Warcraft
  • Eating: STEAK NOW!
  • Drinking: Air
I'm so happy i could slap your mom in the face...twice!

SOOOOOO, in case you can't tell from my jubulant typing skills, i am no longer unemployed. It's amazing what those 4 words can do for a guy's self esteem. I know work for a better company (so it seems) than my last and they have offered me a design position with them starting in a little over a week's time. The burden is gone the stress is flowing out of my dermis like the force is squeezing it out of me as if it were garlic through a garlic press. And that stress that once bothered me soo is about to be merely a topping on the pizza of life that i am about to devour like a rabid armadillo in the desert of starvation! or any desert for that matter...namely Phoenix, Arizona.

So yeah life is breathed in to me once again with the persuit of that which drives me, being creative for money :)

Thanks for all the support you guys its great to know i'm not alone in the world even if i don't know you personally some of you have shared similar instances and understand everything i am putting out here lately. I applaud you all for being resiliant and for those who feel less than enthused about lifes troubles. I'm proof that a little patience and a lot of resume's can get you where you want to be :)

take care, just sharing the great news.

a few people i'd like to recognize for outstanding comments and support as well as having true artistic potential
:iconcracked-ice-concepts: :iconoathkeeper6: :iconkrylon69: :iconpsychodan: :iconfooray: :iconazeto: :iconthetrieckel: :iconthenass: :icondrawntoperfection: :iconsleepinglionheart711: :iconfaylenia: :iconnoxiuztrail: :iconwaydre: :icondw-deathwish:and my brother :icondovyenda:

show them some love and tell em i sent ya.

T to tha P to tha O to the D
  • Listening to: Furious Angels
  • Playing: Gears Of War
  • Eating: Picadio
  • Drinking: Water
Just thought i'd throw a little ninja tag line in the subject line about how i'm feeling right now. It's been 3 weeks since I left my job. I've hit all the online job banks I've heard of and even put up a portfolio online with a few samples of my work. I think every few years its a good idea to reinvent oneself. I feel that caccoon starting to split as i pop out into a new evolution of myself. I have gone under the title JASE Multimedia where I have marketed myself as a vinyl/web/graphic designer. This is not very accurate as I no longer do vinyl cause it's a pain in the butt arranging such materials not to mention the application process. I am also so obsolete when it comes to web design that it's not even funny. I've been working on one website for nearly 4 months and find myself running into W3 errors on every page and i'm using Dreamweaver for crying out loud..i don't even write the code!

Not only that but most of the design jobs i'm looking into require Adobe InDesign which i don't have access to nor have quite the in-depth training i have with QuarkXpress. (Those are the 2 most prevailant design programs on the planet right now.) It's natural to make the switch to InDesign and i'm not scared, i just don't know if i could get an intermediate design job with the little training/use i have of the program. Even if i do get those jobs would i be able to cut it with a software shift? If only there were a way to get a free trial or something so i could familiarize myself a bit more. Oh well.

Anyway i have put my portfolio together only to spend 60 bux i could of used in gas i didn't have after realizing my presentation of myself no longer fits. This is kind of sucking right now and i'm worried i wont find something in time for my next months rent. It's hitting home. If i don't get a call this week i will be putting in for something that while although is not beneath me..won't pay nearly as much as i was making. I feel I am letting my family down by not having work, this sucks but i will pull through. I believe in karma and for some reason i am being tested to the limit as to how positive i can stay in a relatively dismal life changing phase. I wish to reinvent myself with the Pixel-of-Doom persona i have named myself here. I think it fits with design and brings a bit of light hearted wit i feel i possess. This would require rebranding myself and finding the funds to do so. I have no problem creating the logo/production materials, but i have no layout program, no font library, no resources without paying a buttload of cash. Catch 22 i'm afraid, but i'll perservere and perhaps take the low paying job in order to pay bills for the time being and save enough to get the programs i need and keep us out of hot water. Just seems that every bill i've ever had is coming due next week and i have a mountain of shit in my way with no shovel and hands tied behind my back as if the universe is telling me....use your mouth :) lol.

I will if i have to it just sucks and this is just another random venting session so all of you here can be bummed out and i can create more negativity for the universe to use as ammo against me. Perhaps i shouldn't say anything at all, i have my health, and my family loves me and they are healthy as well. My wife got a job as an administrative assistant like position with an insurance company. It will keep us afloat but not for long. I'm thankful for the extra time it will give us though. I'm thankful for all my friends who have been pillars of positive strength in this time as well as the good. You know who you are!
I'm thankful for my gift, i'm thankful for this position i am as it is teaching me something wether i realize it or not at the moment. I am thankful for free cookies at the grocery store so my daughter can have a calm moment of joy. I'm thankful for my computer so i can write this all down and get my thoughts unraveled. I'm thankful for itunes...without you i could be drawing in silence. Speaking of drawing..i have a little something i hope to finish tomorrow for :icondrawn-to-perfection: so stay tuned. Yet it's a coloring not a drawing lol. I'm inspired by and wish to do something similar as it seems to be a fun way to keep up with the Jones's (YOU GUYS) and have something to show here. I'll see what i can do.

Anyway thanks for listening, thanks for visiting, and thanks for deviating all over my journal! keep it real bitches!


a few people i'd like to recognize for outstanding comments and support as well as having true artistic potential
:iconcracked-ice-concepts: :iconoathkeeper6: :iconkrylon69: :iconpsychodan: :iconfooray: :iconazeto: :iconthetrieckel: :iconthenass: :icondrawntoperfection: :iconsleepinglionheart711: :iconfaylenia: :iconnoxiuztrail: :iconwaydre: :icondw-deathwish:and my brother :icondovyenda:

show them some love and tell em i sent ya.

T to tha P to tha O to the D

Live Free

Wed May 2, 2007, 11:08 AM
  • Listening to:
  • Reading: my resume
  • Watching: martha stewart....i mean G.I.
  • Playing: Lost Planet
  • Eating: BBQ
  • Drinking: XX Amber
I'm too good for work...and stuff

So i put my 2 weeks in at my job so i could save some face in the event i would be fired. I felt like i was the victim of some sort of sting opperation as the reasons they were giving me for considering termination of my employment were the same things that every other artist were or had been doing. After talking with some people it seems there's a few rumors going around about the art department going through some changes with includes less artists so it makes sense to get rid of the low man on the totem pole who is still young enough to not let something like this devastate his universe. Whatever....another rumor is that they build up cases on EVERYONE in the event they need to downsize or do some budget trimming during the slow season. Either way i felt like i was dating someone who gave me the boot just because they didn't want me to find them cheating on me with someone else. There's always that little "i got a friend i want to work here so i need some space and you won the grand prize" attitude i kind of felt i was getting. OH well se la vi.

On to bigger and better things, i feel so free right now i can't even tell you. I'm worried about getting a job sure but i feel confident that won't be soo hard with my experience and kick ass portfolio. I'll be putting that together this week and trying to build my creative confidence back up. I took a few blows but i'm ready to kick some ass creatively. Things have worn heavy on my head lately but with all the stress of wondering about my job being gone, i feel so much more able bodied to control my destiny. Got a few job prospects and a secondary job waiting for me..pays less and is manual labor but i'm not scared and it's good to have the contingency plan.

Sorry i've been gone so much i feel i've abandoned DA and my my buddy :icondrawntoperfection: says, he's been swimming alone in the pool of creativityl, pumping out deviation after deviation of kickass deliciousness. I plan on changing that. I'll be finishing that website this week so when i'm done ill link you all and i'll have you all try and break it lol.

So now i'm off to eat some free grub at Joe's BBQ with the fam...and when i'm done i'm going portfolio shopping. Gonna spruce up the resume and bust out the new portfolio work Friday and get me a job next week.

Until next time, stay sucka fresh and don't let the man get you down like he did me. Remember..there's a ninja in all of upon them in time of need and you won't regret it. "Mine just showed up a little late" :)


a few people i'd like to recognize for outstanding comments and support as well as having true artistic potential
:iconcracked-ice-concepts: :iconoathkeeper6: :iconkrylon69: :iconpsychodan: :iconfooray: :iconazeto: :iconthetrieckel: :iconthenass: :icondrawntoperfection: :iconsleepinglionheart711: :iconfaylenia: :iconnoxiuztrail: :iconwaydre: :icondw-deathwish:and my brother :icondovyenda:

show them some love and tell em i sent ya.

T to tha P to tha O to the D